15 Truths About Traveling Solo as a Woman

The first time I officially traveled solo — not for work, not with someone else tagging along, just me and my bag and my ticket — I was nervous. Sure I had traveled alone for work before, which sounds similar but really isn’t. Work travel has a schedule, a purpose, someone expecting you somewhere. Solo travel for fun is entirely different.

The more I traveled solo, the better it got. But I wish I had known what to actually expect — the real version. The version where you know your bag is too heavy and will be a hassle and the version where you know someone will ask you about traveling alone and it will be awkward.

The version where you are eating alone for the fourth night in a row wondering why you thought this was a good idea. That version. Now, I’m sharing some truths about traveling solo as a woman that I wish I had known from the very beginning.

Traveling Solo As a Woman

Solo travel as a woman is one of the most rewarding things you can do — and it can be one of the most humbling because every decision you make is yours. Every moment lands on you. Sometimes they aren’t good. And that sounds scary until you realize that’s part of what makes traveling solo so satisfying in a weird way.

I don’t claim to be a solo travel expert. I’m just someone who started doing it and kept going until it felt like second nature and loves it. What I know now, I wish someone had told me at the beginning — because the uncomfortableness and learning curve is real and nobody warns you about it.

The situation may change slightly but the truths here apply whether you’re in backpacking in South America or navigating trains and planes in Europe or road tripping in the USA. The details may differ but the experience doesn’t.

Truth #1—Your Bags Will Go Everywhere With You

You know that thing you say to your travel partner right before you walk away — “watch my stuff, I’ll be right back”? That’s not happening when you travel solo.

Every time you get up, your bags get up. Into the bathroom stall at the airport. Up the five flights of stairs when there’s no elevator. Onto the tour boat between destinations. What’s even worse is when you’ve picked the perfect seat somewhere and have to give it up if you leave.

It sounds obvious until you’re actually doing it and realize how much of your energy goes into thinking about how to manage your stuff.

My solution is to be a little more intentional with packing. Carry less than you think you need. Even half of what you think you need, if you can manage it. Shoes are the biggest problem and weigh the most. If you carry a bunch of pairs you probably won’t even wear them all. That’s why I try to limit myself to two pairs and three tops.

I love having everything in one big bag but it doesn’t work so well solo. Carrying a couple of smaller bags that can be carried separately but connected when needed works better than one giant suitcase you can’t lift over your own head.

Doing this also allows you to store part of your belongings or leave them somewhere safe if you are traveling to multiple cities or climates.

Truth #2 – Someone Will Ask if You’re Traveling Alone

By nature humans beings are curious. As you meet people and conversations happen, someone will eventually ask who you’re traveling with. If you aren’t ready for that question, it can catch you by surprise.

Since it’s never a good idea to tell a stranger you’re traveling alone you need to have an answer ready. The more you can prepare for this the more natural your answer will be.

I tell people I’m visiting friends and meeting them later, or my husband is working for the day. If it’s plausible, you can even say you live there. Tourists come and go but residents have more accountability. The goal isn’t to be paranoid — it’s to be prepared. Having an answer ready before you need it is just smart solo travel.

Truth #3 – Eating Solo Can Get Boring

I’ve never had a problem dining alone. I knew going in that I’d be eating by myself — that part didn’t bother me. What I didn’t expect was how monotonous it gets after a few days. Meal after meal, just you and your thoughts, maybe even questioning why you are alone. It kind of starts to wear on you in ways you don’t anticipate.

The way I handle this is by sitting at the bar or counter when you can. Bartenders have a knack of reading the room — they’ll talk when you want to talk and leave you alone when you don’t. And no, you don’t have to drink alcohol to sit at a bar.

Bring a book or your travel journal. I use the time waiting for food to catch up on what I’ve been doing and where I’ve been — it gives the meal a purpose beyond just eating. Find places with good views is also helpful. Even sitting outside in 40 degree weather and people watching is better than staring at a wall.

Truth #4 — You Might Not Be in Many of the Photos

Landscape photography is my thing and I’m fine with selfies but occasionally you want a real photo of yourself in front of something worth seeing. Getting good solo photos takes effort and a little practice. A tripod and a self-timer are worth the investment.

My early attempts were terrible but they gave me something to laugh at later. Honestly, my later ones aren’t much better. I have not mastered this yet. I will say that asking strangers to take your photo gets easier the more you do it — look for someone who looks like they know what they’re doing or has a decent camera.

And seriously, just put the camera down sometimes. Some moments are better lived in the moment than photographed.

Truth #5 — You Might Get Lonely

Some days you will feel lonely. How much depends on your personality. Most people want to share experiences with someone. Being in a beautiful or exciting place with no one to turn to and say “are you seeing this right now” is a genuinely different experience from what a lot of people are used to.

If you think loneliness might be an issue, start small. Take an overnight trip or a weekend away before you commit to two weeks alone. Go somewhere familiar so you’re adjusting to being alone without also figuring out a new place at the same time.

Group tours break up the solitude without sacrificing independence. Hostels cater to single travelers and are good places to find things designed for solo travelers. Many resorts have group activities built right in.

Utilize apps or local Facebook groups to find out what’s happening. Many cities and destinations have language classes and walking tours. A good place to find local tours is Airbnb Experiences.

Truth #6 — Family and Friends Might Think Something Is Wrong

The first time I left the country alone for fun, I didn’t tell my mom until I was already at the airport. In Mexico. When I called her, her first words were “what’s wrong?”

Even after years of watching me travel alone for work, a solo vacation for fun meant something must have happened. And other family members — where’s your husband, are you okay, why are you going alone — made me feel like I was doing something slightly shameful. It affected how much I enjoyed that trip. Now I just don’t care.

My best advice is don’t put too much weight on what people say. They’ll get used to it. They might even start to brag about you eventually. And if their concern is about safety, use it as an opportunity to have a real conversation about how you travel and what you do to stay safe.

Truth #7 — You Will Doubt Yourself

Making every single decision yourself sounds like freedom — and it is. But some days it’s exhausting in ways you don’t expect. Where to go, where to stay, what to do, whether that bus is the right one, whether you should have turned left back there.

And you make a bad or questionable decision that doesn’t turn and everything you do after that you doubt. I’ve found this usually happens when you’re tired or when you’re feeling a little too confident. When that happens it like the universe is readjusting your attitude.

There was this time when I jumped on a bus to an unfamiliar city on a whim and instantly regretted it. I ended up missing a free concert in the city where I was supposed to be. Then when I left, I had to backtrack hours because of the bus schedule. I doubted every decision of that trip after that. Good thing it was near the end anyways.

So what can you do to get your confidence back. Understanding that the bad decisions teach you more about yourself than the good ones is helpful. I decided a long time ago that a bad travel day is still better than no travel day and if I mess up, so what? I’m still traveling and most things are fixable — if not immediately, then for sure the next day.

I ended up staying one night in that city I mentioned, explored some the next day and then left. In the end, I felt so much better about my situation in the light of day and now, looking back, I’m really glad that I had that experience.

If you find yourself in a why-did-I-do-that moment: eat something, get some rest and let it look different in the morning. It will. The more you travel solo, the better and more confident you’ll get at making decisions and you won’t doubt yourself so much. Eventually, you’ll have more decisions turn out to be good ones than bad.

Truth #8 — Strangers Will Try to Find You a Date

People don’t always ask if you’re traveling alone. They just assume — and then they try to fix it. I had one trip where seemingly everyone I met wanted to set me up with someone. An Uber driver told me “well, maybe you’ll meet someone here” when I got in the car by myself. An actual Uber driver.

Just say you’re not looking, married, in a relationship or all three simultaneously. You can also laugh it off or pretend you didn’t understand — that works surprisingly well in a language barrier situation.

Truth #9 — You Might Feel Targeted

Traveling for work has a built-in layer of protection — you look professional, you have a purpose, people leave you alone. Traveling solo as a woman on vacation is different.

I was waiting for a bus in a Mexican city when a man came running up and sat down very close to me. His whole manner felt off. He asked if I would do him a favor. I said no before he could even tell me what it was. He said I didn’t even know what it was — he was right, I didn’t. I also didn’t care. I had a feeling about him and I trusted it. He called me a name when he walked away and that confirmed everything.

A good tip: wear sunglasses. It’s easier to look tough when your eyes are hidden and you can watch everything without being obvious about it. Stay situationally aware. Trust your gut — if something feels wrong, it usually is. You’re a guest in someone else’s country and you want to be respectful, but you are never obligated to do anything for anyone.

Truth #10 — Someone Will Put You to Work

Solo travelers in tourist areas apparently look available. I’ve been asked to help fill out paperwork, keep track of things, do tasks for people I just met — all because I was the person sitting alone with nothing obviously demanding my attention.

Once on a bus, a woman sat her young daughter in the seat next to me even though there was an empty seat beside her. I was a little annoyed at first. Then I helped the girl watch movies and by the end of the trip we were friends. The woman gave me her card and said to contact her if I ever needed anything.

You can always say no. But sometimes saying yes leads somewhere good. For as many times as I’ve felt like the third wheel because I was solo, I’ve also gotten a few extra perks along the way. Better seats, better views, better rooms or drinks and I made friends because I agreed to help someone out

Truth #11 — It’s More Expensive

Nobody’s going to tell you otherwise so I will: solo travel costs more. Single supplement fees are real, some places just charge you for a double room anyway and splitting nothing with nobody means every cost lands entirely on you.

Ask for a discount — nicely, directly and without apology. Some hotels have smaller single rooms that cost less. You won’t always get something but you won’t get anything if you don’t ask. I’ve gotten room upgrades, free breakfast and discounts just by asking politely.

You probably won’t get much in return but it never hurts to ask. I have occasionally received discounts and a few extra perks for being solo and asking for something nicely.

Truth #12 — People Will Feel Sorry for You

You’ll be having a perfectly good time and catch someone looking at you with pity on their face. The hostess, the server, a tour guide, the couple at the next table. It happens. Little do they know I’m perfectly happy to be there traveling solo as a woman.

On one trip near a wine trail, I was the only solo traveler in sight. A server at a restaurant kept looking at me like I was a lost puppy. Finally she started talking to me, found out I was there to tour wineries and gave me recommendations. Then she let me try six different wines to “prepare” for the next day.

Pity can work in your favor. If you find yourself in this situation, you’ve got two choices: laugh about it or use it to your advantage. You might just get something for free.

Truth #13 — Solo Travel Will Change You

This one nobody warned me about. Not in a brochure way — in a real way. Navigating an unfamiliar place alone, making every call yourself, getting out of situations with nothing but your own instincts — it builds something in you that doesn’t go away when you get home.

You’ll trust yourself more. You’ll be less afraid of things that used to seem scary. You’ll find out what you actually like doing — or don’t like doing — when there’s nobody else’s preferences to factor in. And some of what you find out might surprise you.

I found out I like slowing down — skipping the tourist checklist, volunteering with animal rescue or wildlife groups, just existing in a place for a while. Didn’t see that coming from someone always on the go. Some of what you find out might surprise you too.

Truth #14 You Will Do Something Dumb

It happens to everyone and it will happen to you. You’re confidently walking in the wrong direction and the policeman in Mexico City suggests you turn around because you might not want to go into the dangerous neighborhood where you’re headed.

My dumb thing was in Lisbon. Knowing better, I landed after dark without a ride to the hotel. When I couldn’t locate my Uber and he yelled at me, I jumped into what I thought was a legitimate taxi. Long story short: the guy overcharged me and I had to go to the ATM. It could have ended much worse. I was tired. I knew better and it happened anyway.

The dumb moments don’t mean you’re bad at solo travel. They mean you’re doing it. Every experienced solo traveler has a version of this story — most of us have several. You’ll might laugh about it later. You’ll also never make that particular mistake again.

Truth #15 — You Might Not Want to Travel With Other People Anymore

This is the one nobody tells you and it might catch you off guard — but after traveling solo, going back to group or even family trips can feel like a negotiation you didn’t sign up for. Travel won’t ever be the same. And yes, there are people who don’t enjoy traveling solo and that’s not a problem.

But if you’re the person who loves being alone when you travel, then waiting on someone else, compromising on where to eat, adjusting your pace for someone who moves differently than you — it can feel like a lot after you’ve had full control.

It doesn’t mean you stop traveling with people you love. It means you’ve changed and you have to adjust to go back to the old way. That’s not a bad thing — it just means solo travel did exactly what it was supposed to do. It gave you a different version of yourself.

Bonus: It’s Worth Every Bit of It

After everything — the dumb decisions, the doubt and even people asking over and over if I’m alone — I would do it all again. Because the rewards far outweigh the things that could go wrong. Confidence, self-sufficiency, freedom, self-care and learning so much about yourself and the world are just a few of the perks of traveling solo.

Traveling solo gives you a chance to rely on yourself in a way you might not experience in everyday life. It’s empowering. And that can be a really good thing for your mental health.

Solo travel gives you something that’s hard to get any other way: yourself, in a new place, with no one else’s needs or comfort level involved. Yes, it’s uncomfortable sometimes. It’s inconvenient often. But it will change you in ways you won’t fully understand until later.

Do it anyway.

Ready to plan your first, or next, solo adventure? As a travel advisor, I can help you plan. Fill out this form or send me an email.

See you on the road.