Things No One Told Me About Traveling Solo As a Woman
For just about my entire adult life, I had only traveled with family and friends. All of that changed after I switched jobs and started traveling solo for work. I realized that traveling by myself was pretty nice and decided I wanted to travel solo for leisure as well. However, the first time I traveled by myself for fun, I quickly realized it was very different than work travel. Let’s discuss what no one told me about traveling solo as a woman and how to fix it.
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Traveling Solo As a Woman
Traveling solo as a woman can be a rewarding and empowering experience but if you, like me, have only ever traveled for work, it doesn’t take long see the differences when you start traveling solo for fun.
With work travel – you’re working. You have a schedule to keep and not a lot of free time. Someone in your company probably even made the travel arrangements.
Traveling solo is a totally different experience. Every decision is on you. It gives new meaning to being self sufficient. There can also be quite a bit of time to fill. Before you had a schedule, now you really don’t. Plus, traveling solo as a woman brings can bring on a different set of problems altogether.
While I’m still not a solo travel expert, I do know a bit more now than when I first started traveling solo as a woman. Here’s the things I wish I had known – or at least thought about before my first solo trip.
No one told me that my bags would go everywhere with me…
You know that thing you say to your travel partner right before you walk away: “watch my stuff, I’ll be right back”? Well, it’s not happening this time. Not when you are traveling solo. What’s even worse is when you’ve picked the perfect seat somewhere and have to give it up if you leave.
This seems like a no-brainer but honestly, I hadn’t thought about my bags being with me constantly. That means up the five flights of stairs when there’s no elevator, the bathroom stall at the airport and the tour boat tour between destinations. How can you make it a bit easier?
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me people would ask if I was traveling alone…
By nature, humans are curious. As you meet people and strike up conversations on your travels, it’s only natural they’ll ask you about yourself, your family and that dreaded question – who are you here with? For safety reasons, it’s never a good idea to tell a stranger you’re traveling solo. So what’s the solution?
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me I would be eating every meal, every day alone…
I’m no stranger to dining alone and I’ve never really had a problem with it. Obviously I knew I would be eating by myself when traveling solo. However, I didn’t expect it to get so boring after awhile. Eat every meal by yourself day after day and you might begin to question why you are alone to begin with. That’s not a good thing.
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me I wouldn’t be in any of the photos…
I love landscape photography and I’m okay with selfies but occasionally you’d like a nice photo of yourself IN some of that beautiful scenery you’re visiting. Getting good photos of yourself when traveling solo requires some effort and practice.
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me I would feel lonely…
It’s true. Some days you’ll feel lonely. How much though, depends on your personality. Naturally, most people like to share and talk about things with others. Being in a new or exciting place with no one to share it with can be a totally different experience if you aren’t used to it. Here’s a few ways to make it easier.
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me my family and friends would think something was wrong…
The first time I went out out of the country alone, I didn’t even tell my mom until the day I left because I knew she would worry about me. When I finally called her, from the airport in Mexico, and told her where I was, her first words were “what’s wrong”?
Even after years of traveling alone for work she assumed that by traveling solo, something had to be wrong.
In fact, imagine my surprise when other family members and even a few friends, asked me if I was okay; was I traveling for work, where’s your husband, etc. I felt like I was doing something that I wasn’t supposed to be doing.
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me strangers would try to fix me up…
It’s funny because on some trips, it seems if something happens once, then it happens over and over. I had this one trip where everyone I met wanted to find me a date. Even an Uber driver said “well maybe you’ll meet someone here”. Me: rolls eyes.
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me I might feel like a target…
When you travel for work, you look professional, have a badge or clothing that identifies you are a business traveler and for the most part, people leave you alone. Traveling solo as a woman on vacation can be another story. I’ve had a couple of times where I felt I was targeted as a female traveler.
The first time it happened, I was waiting for a bus on a bench in a Mexico city and a man came running up and sat down real close beside me. Just his manner and the way he approached me gave me a bad vibe. He asked me if I would do him a favor. Automatically, I replied no.
He seemed a bit taken aback and he said but you don’t even know what it is. And he was right. I didn’t know. But to be perfectly frank – I didn’t care. I had a feeling I was approached as female tourist and knew it couldn’t be good. I decided to shut it down before it even got started.
After I said no, he just sat there, staring at me. A little incredulous. Finally, he walked away but not before calling me an ugly name. And then, I knew I had done the right thing. So how can you protect yourself from something like this?
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me I’d be asked to complete some tasks…
When people see you alone in a touristy place, my assumption is they think you’re bored or you’re in need of something to do/keep you busy. Whatever the case, I’ve had several situations where I was asked to help complete a task – fill out papers, keep up with something, do this or do that, all because I was the “solo” person in the group.
I once even had a woman on a bus ask me to help her take care of her daughter that she sat next to me! There was an empty seat next to her but she sat the young girl in the seat beside me. Maybe she needed a break? Initially, I’ll admit I was a bit annoyed but I ended helping the girl watch movies and I made new friends. The woman even offered me her card so that I could get in contact if I needed something in the future.
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me it would be more expensive…
This one I kind of expected. It doesn’t seem to matter much that one person is easier to take care of or easier to clean up after, most places will charge a little more for a solo traveler in a single room. Sometimes they’ll just go ahead and charge you for a double room anyway. Like you won’t notice.
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me people would feel sorry for me…
You’re going about your business, having a good time and surprise – you catch someone looking at you with pity on their face. Are you looking at me? Yes it happens. The hostess at the restaurant, the server, a tour guide, the beach attendant. You get the picture. Little do they know I’m perfectly happy to be there alone. Loving life and traveling solo.
On one trip, near a wine trail, I saw no other solo travelers. While at a restaurant one night, seated at a small bar where the staff prepared drinks, I sensed one of the female servers felt sorry for me.
Finally, she started talking to me and once she found out I was there to tour wineries, she gave me some great recommendations. Then she let me try six different wines to “prepare” for the next day. Not a bad way to learn about local wine
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me I would doubt myself…
Even though one of the easiest things about traveling solo is making all the decisions yourself, sometimes, it’s also one of the hardest things. I can’t tell you how many times I doubted myself when it came time to make decisions. Especially in a new place. Where to go, where to stay, where to eat, what to do, and on and on.
And to be honest, I’ve had some mess ups. Like jumping on a bus last minute to an unknown city and not liking it at all. Then having to backtrack hours the same way because of bus scheduling conflict. Sometimes you win and sometimes you win less but let’s face it, a bad or a semi-bad travel day is better than no travel day at all.
Southerner Says solution:
No one told me traveling solo would be so rewarding…
After reading about some of the negative things that could potentially happen on a solo trip, you might think why would anyone want to put themselves in that position?
Well, because the reward far outweigh the things that could go wrong. Confidence, self sufficiency, freedom, self-care and education are all just a few of the perks of traveling solo.
Traveling solo gives you an opportunity to rely on yourself in a way you might not experience in everyday life and at home. It’s very empowering. And that can be a really good thing for your mental health and confidence.
