I traveled for work a long time before I even considered taking a solo trip for fun. Up until then, my leisure travel normally included family or friends. But then a job change made it easier for me to travel and it got harder and harder to find someone to go with me. So, I decided to try a solo trip and realized even after all that work travel, there was so much I still didn’t exxpect about traveling solo.
When you travel for work, well, you’re usually working. You have a schedule to keep and not much free time. Someone in your company probably even arranged all the hotels and transportation.
But it’s totally different when you are traveling solo. Every decision is on you. It gives new meaning to be self sufficient. The first time I traveled solo for fun, I was surprised at some of the things that happened. Things I hadn’t even thought about. While I’m still no expert, I now know more about what to expect when traveling solo now than I did before and I’m better prepared. Here’s what no one told me.
No one told me that my bags would go everywhere with me…
You know that thing you say to your travel partner right before you walk away… “watch my stuff, I’ll be right back”? Well, not happening this time. You’re it. There’s no one to watch your bag when you’re traveling solo. To make things worse, you may have picked the perfect seat somewhere and now you’ll have to give it up if you leave.
This seems like a no-brainer but honestly, I had not thought about the fact that my bags would be with me constantly. That means up the five flights of stairs when there’s no elevator, the bathroom stall at the airport and the tour boat tour between destinations.
Southerner Says solution:
- Pack light when traveling solo. Take half of what you think you need. It’s tempting to pack ten pairs of shoes, but shoes are where all the weight is. Shoes are heavy! I try to follow a three pair rule.
- Pack smarter. Use packing cubes so that you can redistribute clothing to a different bag or your purse to reduce weight if need be. Instead of one big heavy bag, try a couple of smaller bags that can be that can be carried separate but then hooked together when needed.
- Consider storing your luggage for the day. Most hotels will store your bags even after you have checked out of the room. Many hostels have lockers. You can even store your things in some bus stations.
No one told me I’d be asked if I was alone…
By nature, humans are curious creatures. As you meet people and strike up conversations on your travels, it’s only natural they will ask you about yourself, your family and the dreaded question – are you alone? That question can catch you off guard if you aren’t prepared for it. So prepare yourself and be ready. You know it’s coming.
The main reason you don’t want to tell someone you are alone is for safety. It’s never a good idea to tell a stranger that you’re traveling solo. Not matter what, safety is your top priority when you are traveling solo. Along the same lines, it’s never a good idea to tell a stranger where you’re staying. At times when I’m traveling solo, I’ll even given a taxi or an Uber, a location down the street from where I’m staying.
Southerner Says solution:
- The way to deal with this is to be prepared to answer. The more prepared you are, the more natural you will sound. I don’t condone lying usually but this is an exception. One of my favorite things to tell people is that I’m visiting friends and meeting them later. That way there’s the idea that someone is expecting you later. Not showing up would be a cause for concern. If it’s plausible, tell people you live in there. This way you’re not an easy mark as a tourist. Tourists come and go but there’s more accountability for a resident.
No one told me I would be eating every meal, every day alone…
I’m no stranger to dining alone. Traveling solo, I obviously knew I would be eating by myself. However, I didn’t expect it to get so boring after awhile. Eat every meal by yourself day after day and you might begin to question why you are alone to begin with. That’s not a good thing.
Southerner Says solution:
- Choose restaurants with bars or counters and sit there. This gives you an option to talk to a bartenders or other customers. Bartenders are used to talking but they also seem to have a knack of knowing when not to as well. And no, you do not have to drink alcohol to sit at a bar.
- Find street food for takeaway or a food truck. Many tourist destinations have food truck parks where you can sit and eat and people watch.
- Read. Carry a book with you or something to work on. I personally use the time waiting for my food in a restaurant to catch up on what I’ve been doing on my trip and writing in my journal.
- Find someplace with a great view. Even if it means sitting outside in 40F degree weather.
No one told me I wouldn’t be in any of the photos…
I love landscape photography without humans and I’m okay with selfies but occasionally you’d like a photo of yourself IN some beautiful scenery. You don’t get that opportunity much when you are traveling solo.
Southerner Says solution:
- Invest in a tripod and get to know your self timer. To be honest, I have tried this and my photos were pretty bad but I have been practicing when I can find a place with no one around. If your photos don’t turn out, they will at least give you something to laugh about when when you get home.
- Ask someone to take your photo. This also is a bit awkward at first but it gets easier as you get used to doing it. Most people taking photos don’t mind taking one of you. I look for someone that looks like they know what they are doing or that has a nice camera. For the anxiety of handing over you device to a complete stranger, I’m taking suggestions for that. Please tell me in the comments.
- Learn to live in the moment. Travel shouldn’t just be about getting the perfect shot. Put down your camera or phone and soak it in.
No one told me I would feel lonely…
It’s true. I sometimes do feel lonely when I travel solo. And you will too at times. How much though, depends on you and your personality. Most people naturally like to share things with others. Being in a new or exciting place with no one to share it with can be a totally different experience if you aren’t used to it.
Southerner Says solution:
- Start small if you think this will be an issue. Take an overnight or weekend trip first to see how you feel and adjust to be alone before you commit to a longer trip.
- Go somewhere you’ve been before so you feel more comfortable. Something you’ve seen and already experienced will make you more confident in your surroundings than something brand new.
- Stay in a hostel. There is always someone else traveling solo that you can do something with. Hostels have lots of common areas that are great for meeting people. And they usually even arrange local tours like bar and art crawls.
- If you are more of a resort person, choose an resort or a hotel that has group activities that you can participate in. Even resorts offer things like wine and food tastings. In Mexico many resorts have tequila tastings or even cooking classes.
- Book a group tour to break up the alone time Utilize apps or local Facebook groups to find out what’s happening. Many cities and destinations have language classes, wine tastings and similar activities that you can participate in. A good place to for those kinds of activities is on Airbnb
- Make friends with locals. Especially if it’s an area you travel to frequently. As a female, if I meet a female Uber driver when I’m traveling, I get their phone number and stay in touch. This way I have a contact in the city in case of emergency and I make a new friend that I can hang out with.
No one told me my family and friends would think it was odd…
The first time I went out out of the country alone, I didn’t even tell my mom until the day I left because I knew she would worry about me. When I did tell her, from the airport in Mexico, her first words were “what’s wrong”? Told ya! Even after years of traveling alone for work she assumed that by traveling solo by choice, something was wrong.
In fact, imagine my surprise when other family members and even a few friends, asked me if I was okay; was I traveling for work, where’s your husband, etc. I felt like I was doing something that I wasn’t supposed to be doing.
Southerner Says solution:
- Shake if off. If you are doing something you want to do, never let someone make you feel bad about it. There are plenty of women, of all ages, that enjoy traveling solo. It’s perfectly normal, it’s just not for everyone. More than likely, if someone is negative about your solo travel, it’s someone that hasn’t tried it. If their concern is a matter of safety, use the opportunity to educate them about the ways to stay safe as a solo female traveler.
No one told me strangers would try to get me a date…
It’s funny because on some trips, it seems if something happens once, then it happens over and over. I had this one trip where everyone wanted to get me a date. Even an Uber driver said “well maybe you’ll meet someone here”. Me: rolls eyes.
Southerner Says solution:
- This one is easy. Just say you not looking, married, in a relationship, going through a divorce or all of the above. You can always just laugh or pretend you didn’t understand if they speak a different language. I find that always works well when you don’t know what to say.
No one told me I would feel like a target sometimes…
When you travel for work, you look professional, have a badge or clothing that identifies you are a business traveler and for the most part, people leave you alone. Traveling as a female on a vacation is another story.
I’ve had a couple of times where I felt I was targeted as a tourist and female. An easy mark, they think. The first time it happened, I was waiting for a bus on a bench and a man came running up and sat down real close beside me. Just his manner and the way he approached me gave me a bad vibe. He asked me if I would do him a favor. Immediately, I replied no and he said but you don’t even know what it is.
And he was right. I didn’t know. But to be perfectly honest, I didn’t care. I knew it was a grift, a con. There were plenty of other people around. If it had been an emergency, I, as a foreigner that didn’t know where anything was, would have been the last person that could have helped him. After I said no, he just sat there, staring at me. Finally he walked away but not before calling me an ugly name.
Southerner Says solution:
- It’s sad but as a woman traveling alone, you have to be in self protection mode at all times and not let your guard down. Sometimes you have to make quick decisions. While you are a guest in a foreign country, you aren’t obligated to do anything for anyone. More importantly, don’t let your niceness kick in. It was way easier for me to say no right away than after he told me whatever it was he wanted.
- Wear sunglasses as much as possible. It’s much easier to play the “don’t mess with me” person when your eyes are hidden.
- Listen to your gut. If you are uncomfortable, there’s a reason. If you feel unsafe, get help immediately.
No one told me I would be put to work…
When people see you traveling solo, I assume they must think you’re bored or are in need of something to do. Whatever the case, I’ve had several situations where I was asked to work, fill out papers, keep up with something, do this, do that all because I was the solo person in the group.
I even had a woman on a bus ask me to help her take care of her daughter that was sitting next to me. She had an empty seat next to her and I felt like she put the young girl beside me because she needed some alone time. So, I was a bit annoyed at first, but it actually turned out nice. I helped the girl with her movies and snack and I ended up making a new friend.
Southerner Says solution:
- If someone asks you to do something you don’t want to, you always have the prerogative to say no. But it could just be that you find something good comes out of it. I’ve gotten a few extra perks along the way. Better seats, better views, better rooms, more alcohol and friends all because I agreed to help someone out.
No one told me it would be more expensive…
This one I expected. It doesn’t seem to matter much that one person is easier to take care of or easier to clean up after, most places will charge more for a solo traveler of a single room. Sometimes they will just go ahead and charge you for a double anyway. Like you won’t notice.
Southerner Says solution:
- Ask for a discount. Some hotels even have smaller rooms for solo travelers. A neat and clean traveler doesn’t need much. You probably won’t get much in return but it never hurts to ask.
No one told me people would feel sorry for me…
You’re going about your business, having a good time and surprise; you catch someone looking at you with pity on their face. Pity for me? On face of total strangers? Yes it happens. The hostess at the restaurant, the server, a tour guide, the beach attendant. Little do they know how happy I am to be there, loving life, traveling solo.
Southerner Says solution:
- If you find yourself in this situation, you’ve got two choices: laugh about it OR use it to your advantage. You might just get something for free. On one of my last trips near a wine trail, I saw nearly no other solo travelers. While at a nearby restaurant, seated at a small bar where the staff prepared drinks, I sensed one of the female servers felt sorry for me. She started talking to me and once she knew I was there to tour wineries, she gave me some great recommendations. Then she let me try six different wines to “prep” for the next day. Not a bad way to learn about local wine.
No one told me I would doubt myself…
Even though one of the easiest things about traveling solo is making all the decisions yourself, I can’t tell you how many times I doubted what I was doing when it came time to make those decisions. Especially in a new place. Where to go, where to stay, where to eat, what to do, and on and on.
And to be honest, I’ve had some mess ups.
Like jumping on a bus last minute to an unknown city and not liking it at all. Then having to backtrack hours the same way because of bus scheduling conflict. Sometimes you win and sometimes you win less but let’s face it, a bad or a semi-bad travel day is better than no travel day at all.
Southerner Says solution:
- If you enjoy it, start traveling solo even more. The more you do it, the better and more comfortable you will be at making decisions.. Eventually, you’ll have way more doubtful decisions turn out to be fine than ones that turn out bad and your confidence will grow.
- Leave the quick decisions for things can be undone or that you can change easily. Deciding to jump on a bus when I was already in a perfectly good city was hasty. I should have stayed overnight and thought it through.
- If you do mess up, most things are fixable. If not immediately, then at least the next day. In the city I didn’t like, I stayed one night, explored some the next day and then left. In the end, I felt so much better about my situation the the next day and now, looking back, I’m really glad that I went.
No one told me it would be so rewarding…
After reading about some of the negative things that could potentially happen on a solo trip, you might think why would anyone want to put themselves in that position? Well, because the reward outweighs the negative things that could go wrong. Confidence, self sufficiency, freedom, self care, education are all just a few of the perks of traveling solo.
Traveling solo gives you an opportunity to rely on yourself in a way you might not experience in everyday life and at home. It’s very empowering. And that can be a really good thing for your mental health and confidence.
Southerner Says solution:
- plan on traveling solo asap!
