For almost my entire life I traveled with family and friends. But after I changed jobs and started traveling for work, I realized traveling solo was something I wanted to do more of. However, the first time I traveled by myself for fun, I realized it was very different than traveling for work.
When you travel for work – you’re working. You have a schedule to keep and not much free time. Someone in your company probably even made the travel arrangements.
It’s totally different when you are traveling solo. Every decision is on you. It gives new meaning to being self sufficient. There can also be quite a bit of time to fill. While I’m no solo travel expert, I now know a bit more about what to expect when traveling solo than I did before. Here’s a few things that no one told me about and the solutions.
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No one told me that my bags would go everywhere with me…
You know that thing you say to your travel partner right before you walk away… “watch my stuff, I’ll be right back”? Well, it’s not happening this time. Not when you are traveling solo. You’re it. To make matters worse, you may have picked the perfect seat somewhere and now you’ll have to give it up if you leave.
This seems like a no-brainer but honestly, I had not thought about the fact that my bags would be with me constantly. That means up the five flights of stairs when there’s no elevator, the bathroom stall at the airport and the tour boat tour between destinations. How can you make it easier?
Southerner Says solution:
- Pack light(er) when traveling solo. Take half of what you think you need. I know it’s tempting to pack ten pairs of shoes, but shoes weigh a lot! I try to follow a three pair rule to not weigh my bags down.
- Pack smarter. Use packing cubes so that you can redistribute clothing to a different bag or your purse to reduce weight if need be. Instead of one big heavy bag, try a couple of smaller bags that can be that can be carried separate but then hooked together when needed.
- Consider storing your luggage for the day. Most hotels will store your bags even after you have checked out of the room. Many hostels have lockers. You can even store your things in some bus stations.
No one told me I’d be asked if I was alone…
By nature, humans are curious. As you meet people and strike up conversations on your travels, it’s only natural they’ll ask you about yourself, your family and that dreaded question – are you alone? For your safety, it’s never a good idea to tell a stranger that you’re traveling solo. So what can you do if you get asked that question?
Southerner Says solution:
- Just be prepared. Know that someone will ask you if you are alone. The more prepared you are, the more natural your answer will sound. One of my favorite things to tell people is that I’m visiting friends and meeting them later. Or that my husband is working.
- If it’s plausible, you can even tell people you live there. That way, you’re not an easy mark as a tourist. Tourists come and go but there’s more accountability for a resident. For even more tips read my 15 Travel Safety Tips For the Solo Traveler.
No one told me I would be eating every meal, every day alone…
I’m no stranger to dining alone. Traveling solo, I obviously knew I would be eating by myself. However, I didn’t expect it to get so boring after awhile. Eat every meal by yourself day after day and you might begin to question why you are alone to begin with. That’s not a good thing.
Southerner Says solution:
- Choose restaurants with bars or counters and sit there. Then you have the option of talking to the bartenders or other customers. Bartenders are used to talking but they also seem to have a knack of knowing when not to as well. And no, you do not have to drink alcohol to sit at a bar.
- Carry a book with you or something to work on. I personally use the time waiting for my food in a restaurant to catch up on what I’ve been doing on my trip and writing in my journal.
- Find street food for takeaway or a food truck. Many tourist destinations have food truck parks or food halls where you can sit, eat read a book or people watch.
- Find someplace with a great view. Even if it means sitting outside in 40F degree weather, a good view always helps.
No one told me I wouldn’t be in any of the photos…
I love landscape photography and I’m okay with selfies but occasionally you’d like a photo of yourself IN some of that beautiful scenery you are visiting. Getting good photos of yourself when traveling solo requires some effort and practice.
Southerner Says solution:
- Invest in a tripod and get to know your self timer. To be honest, I have tried this and my photos were pretty bad but I have been practicing when I can find a place with no one around. If your photos don’t turn out, they will at least give you something to laugh about when when you get home.
- Ask someone to take your photo. This also is a bit awkward at first but it gets easier as you get used to doing it. Most people taking photos don’t mind taking one of you. I look for someone that looks like they know what they are doing or that has a nice camera. I still haven’t gotton over the anxiety of handing my device over to a stranger though.
- Learn to live in the moment. Travel shouldn’t just be about getting the perfect shot. Put down your camera or phone and soak it in.
No one told me I would feel lonely…
It’s true. I sometimes do feel lonely when I travel solo. And you will too at times. How much though, depends on your personality. Most people naturally like to share things with others. Being in a new or exciting place with no one to share it with can be a totally different experience if you aren’t used to it. Here’s a few tips to make it easier.
Southerner Says solution:
- Start small if you think loneliness will be an issue. Take an overnight trip or a weekend getaway first to see how you feel and adjust to be alone before you commit to a longer trip.
- Go somewhere you’ve been before so you feel more comfortable. Something you’ve seen and already experienced will make you more confident in your surroundings than something brand new.
- Stay in a hostel or a resort. Many places cater to single travelers and have planned group activities. Some resorts even offer things like wine and cooking classes.
- Book a group tour to break up the alone time so you don’t get lonely. Utilize apps or local Facebook groups to find out what’s happening. Many cities and destinations have language classes and walking tours. A good place to find local tours is Airbnb experiences.
- Speaking of locals – make friends with them. Especially if it’s an area you travel to frequently. As a female, if I meet a female Uber driver when I’m traveling, I get their phone number and stay in touch. This way I have a contact in the city in case of emergency and I make a new friend that I can hang out with.
No one told me my family and friends would think it was odd…
The first time I went out out of the country alone, I didn’t even tell my mom until the day I left because I knew she would worry about me. When I finally called her, from the airport in Mexico, and told her where I was, her first words were “what’s wrong”? Even after years of traveling alone for work she assumed that by traveling solo, something had to be wrong.
In fact, imagine my surprise when other family members and even a few friends, asked me if I was okay; was I traveling for work, where’s your husband, etc. I felt like I was doing something that I wasn’t supposed to be doing.
Southerner Says solution:
- Shake if off. If you are doing something you want to do and it brings you join, then never let someone make you feel bad about it. Even if it’s a close friend or family. There are plenty of women – of all ages – that enjoy traveling solo. It’s perfectly normal. The issue is: It’s just not for everyone. More than likely, if someone is negative or doesn’t understand why you travel solo, they’ve probably never done it.
- If their concern is a matter of safety, use the opportunity to educate them about the ways to stay safe as a solo female traveler.
No one told me strangers would try to fix me up…
It’s funny because on some trips, it seems if something happens once, then it happens over and over. I had this one trip where everyone I met wanted to find me a date. Even an Uber driver said “well maybe you’ll meet someone here”. Me: rolls eyes.
Southerner Says solution:
- This one is easy. Just say you not looking, married, in a relationship, going through a divorce or all of the above. You can always just laugh or pretend you didn’t understand if they speak a different language. I find that always works well when you don’t know what to say.
No one told me I would feel targeted sometimes…
When you travel for work, you look professional, have a badge or clothing that identifies you are a business traveler and for the most part, people leave you alone. Traveling as a female on a vacation can be another story.
I’ve had a couple of times where I felt I was targeted as a tourist and especially a female. The first time it happened, I was waiting for a bus on a bench and a man came running up and sat down real close beside me. Just his manner and the way he approached me gave me a bad vibe. He asked me if I would do him a favor. Immediately, I replied no. He said but you don’t even know what it is.
And he was right. I didn’t know. But to be perfectly frank – I didn’t care. I had a feeling I was approached as woman tourist and knew it was a probably a grift. I just decided to shut it down before it even got started. After I said no, he just sat there, staring at me. A little incredulous. Finally, he walked away but not before calling me an ugly name. And then, I knew I had done the right thing. So how can you protect yourself from something like this?
Southerner Says solution:
- Be situationally aware at all times. Don’t let your guard down. Sometimes you have to make quick decisions. Remember that while you are a guest in a foreign country and want to be respectful, you aren’t obligated to do anything for anyone.
- Wear sunglasses as much as possible. It’s much easier to play the “don’t mess with me” person when your eyes are hidden.
- Listen to your gut. If you are uncomfortable, there’s a reason. If you feel unsafe, get help immediately or move into a crowded area or someplace safe.
No one told me I’d be asked to work…
When people see you in a situation where you are alone, like a tour or somewhere when you are the solo person, I assume they think you’re bored or are in need of something to do. Whatever the case, I’ve had several situations where I was asked to work, fill out papers, keep up with something, do this, do that, all because I was the “single” person in the group.
I even had a woman on a bus ask me to help her take care of her daughter that she sat next to me! There was an empty seat next to her but she put the young girl in the seat beside me. She needed a break maybe? Initially, I’ll admit I was a bit annoyed but I ended helping the girl watch movies movies and I made new friends. The woman even offered me her card so that I could get in contact if I needed something in the future.
Southerner Says solution:
- If someone asks you to do something you don’t want to, you always have the prerogative to say no. But just like in my case, it could just be that something good comes out of it. For as many times as I’ve felt like the third wheel because I was solo, I’ve also gotten a few extra perks along the way. Better seats, better views, better rooms, drinks and I made friends all because I agreed to help someone out.
No one told me it would be more expensive…
This one I kind of expected. It doesn’t seem to matter much that one person is easier to take care of or easier to clean up after, most places will charge a little more for a solo traveler in a single room. Sometimes they’ll just go ahead and charge you for a double room anyway. Like you won’t notice.
Southerner Says solution:
- The only real way to deal with this is to ask for a discount. Some hotels even have smaller rooms for solo travelers. You probably won’t get much in return but it never hurts to ask. I have occasionally received discounts and a few extra perks for being solo and asking for something nicely.
No one told me people would feel sorry for me…
You’re going about your business, having a good time and surprise – you catch someone looking at you with pity on their face. Are you looking at me? Yes it happens. The hostess at the restaurant, the server, a tour guide, the beach attendant. You get the picture. Little do they know I’m perfectly happy to be there alone. Loving life and traveling solo.
Southerner Says solution:
- If you find yourself in this situation, you’ve got two choices: laugh about it OR use it to your advantage. You might just get something for free. On one trip, near a wine trail, I saw no other solo travelers. While at a nearby restaurant, seated at a small bar where the staff prepared drinks, I sensed one of the female servers feeling sorry for me. She started talking to me and once she knew I was there to tour wineries, she gave me some great recommendations. Then she let me try six different wines to “prep” for the next day. Not a bad way to learn about local wine.
No one told me I would doubt myself…
Even though one of the easiest things about traveling solo is making all the decisions yourself, at times, it’s also one of the hardest things. I can’t tell you how many times I doubted myself when it came time to make decisions. Especially in a new place. Where to go, where to stay, where to eat, what to do, and on and on.
And to be honest, I’ve had some mess ups. Like jumping on a bus last minute to an unknown city and not liking it at all. Then having to backtrack hours the same way because of bus scheduling conflict. Sometimes you win and sometimes you win less but let’s face it, a bad or a semi-bad travel day is better than no travel day at all.
Southerner Says solution:
- Travel solo more often. Like most things – it takes practice. The more you do it, the better and more confident you will become at making decisions. Eventually, you’ll have way more decisions turn out to be good ones than bad ones.
- Leave the quick decisions for things can be undone or that you can change easily. Deciding to jump on a bus when I was already in a perfectly good city was hasty. I should have stayed overnight where I was and thought it through.
- If you do mess up, remember most things are fixable. If not immediately, then at least the next day. In the city I didn’t like, I stayed one night, explored some the next day and then left. In the end, I felt so much better about my situation in the light of day and now, looking back, I’m really glad that I had that experience.
No one told me traveling solo would be so rewarding…
After reading about some of the negative things that could potentially happen on a solo trip, you might think why would anyone want to put themselves in that position? Well, because the reward far outweigh the things that could go wrong. Confidence, self sufficiency, freedom, self care and education are all just a few of the perks of traveling solo.
Traveling solo gives you an opportunity to rely on yourself in a way you might not experience in everyday life and at home. It’s very empowering. And that can be a really good thing for your mental health and confidence.
Southerner Says solution:
- plan on traveling solo asap!
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